Friday, December 31, 2010
Dad Moving Soon!
Great news. Dor called yesterday to say that they plan to move Dad to the medical unit at Lima on Monday. They still view this as a temporary move with the thought that Dad may move to assisted living (I'd be surprised, but we'll see).
Thursday, December 30, 2010
A New Home for Mom
The big news is that Mom is back at Lima as of yesterday. She has a room in assisted living. Dor spent a lot of time early in the week preparing for the move, working with Mom to figure out what furniture to move, arranging the furniture move, etc. David picked up Mom yesterday morn and brought her over. Dave, Dor, MB, and I all spent the afternoon there yesterday trying to get the place set up -- hanging mirrors, pictures, etc. We brought Dad over, too, to hang out for the afternoon. (Liz was enjoying a much deserved break in Florida.)
We went up to dinner in the main dining room and many, many people stopped to say hi and how glad they were to see Mom and Dad again. MB and I were so impressed with how caring everyone at Lima seems -- both the residents and the staff.
After dinner, Dor took Dad back to Granite Farms where her singing group, the Revels, just happened to be performing that evening! So, Dad got to see her perform.
The Lima folks have told us that they will probably have a room for Dad soon in the medical unit back at Lima. That would be an answer to prayer, as it may be a little tough for him now that he and Mom are in different facilities. Once they find a permanent room for him at Lima, I expect we will need to empty out the apartment. (As long as he is in a temporary place, the apartment is his residence.) Dad's health has not changed much since the last post. He's doing OK, but still needs to get stronger and he has problems with aspiration so he is on a pureed diet -- not a lot of fun and it results in him eating less.
Mom is adjusting to her new home. Although it is in the same Lima facility, it is quite different. She has a single room (though it is fairly large) and the assisted living area is a bit of a walk from the main part of the facility. She still has access to everything that she had access to before (e.g., main dining area), but most things are quite a distance so she has to make a special effort to walk up there. By default, she will eat and socialize in the smaller assisted living area. She does know some of the residents there, which is a good start.
I am still concerned about Mom not using the walker. Yesterday there were many times when she didn't use it. I would remind her, but she is stubborn. I would not be surprised if she barely uses it at all when she is alone in her room, and I wonder how long it will be until her next fall. That could be especially bad if there is no one there to see her. Not many people walk by her room -- all the action (nurses station, dining, etc.) is upstairs and her door is often shut -- so if something happened it could be a while until anyone found her. I think she needs to get one of those emergency buttons you wear on a necklace. Dorrie has some info on them -- recommendations are welcome!
Enough news for now. We will all see Mom and Dad again this coming Sunday when we get together at David and Sharon's for a belated family Christmas celebration. (M&D were at Dor's on Christmas day.)
BTW, Mom's address is now 'OBT 105' (instead of A332). The landline phone is being switched to her room, but as of yesterday it was not yet working.
We went up to dinner in the main dining room and many, many people stopped to say hi and how glad they were to see Mom and Dad again. MB and I were so impressed with how caring everyone at Lima seems -- both the residents and the staff.
After dinner, Dor took Dad back to Granite Farms where her singing group, the Revels, just happened to be performing that evening! So, Dad got to see her perform.
The Lima folks have told us that they will probably have a room for Dad soon in the medical unit back at Lima. That would be an answer to prayer, as it may be a little tough for him now that he and Mom are in different facilities. Once they find a permanent room for him at Lima, I expect we will need to empty out the apartment. (As long as he is in a temporary place, the apartment is his residence.) Dad's health has not changed much since the last post. He's doing OK, but still needs to get stronger and he has problems with aspiration so he is on a pureed diet -- not a lot of fun and it results in him eating less.
Mom is adjusting to her new home. Although it is in the same Lima facility, it is quite different. She has a single room (though it is fairly large) and the assisted living area is a bit of a walk from the main part of the facility. She still has access to everything that she had access to before (e.g., main dining area), but most things are quite a distance so she has to make a special effort to walk up there. By default, she will eat and socialize in the smaller assisted living area. She does know some of the residents there, which is a good start.
I am still concerned about Mom not using the walker. Yesterday there were many times when she didn't use it. I would remind her, but she is stubborn. I would not be surprised if she barely uses it at all when she is alone in her room, and I wonder how long it will be until her next fall. That could be especially bad if there is no one there to see her. Not many people walk by her room -- all the action (nurses station, dining, etc.) is upstairs and her door is often shut -- so if something happened it could be a while until anyone found her. I think she needs to get one of those emergency buttons you wear on a necklace. Dorrie has some info on them -- recommendations are welcome!
Enough news for now. We will all see Mom and Dad again this coming Sunday when we get together at David and Sharon's for a belated family Christmas celebration. (M&D were at Dor's on Christmas day.)
BTW, Mom's address is now 'OBT 105' (instead of A332). The landline phone is being switched to her room, but as of yesterday it was not yet working.
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
Not Following Doctor's Orders
From Dor:
hmmmm - she definitely was being a little over-ambitious Sunday. Betsy Fry gave her a ride to church Sunday morning and I couldn't see her from where I sit in the choir. When I caught up to her afterwards (she was with Betsy at one of the tables in our Alternative Christmas Market, which was a great place to talk to all kinds of people) I didn't see her walker. When I asked her about it, she said that she had left it in Betsy's car!! I had reinforced with Betsy that she would need some help getting up out of the car and asked her please just to drop her off at the ramp into the narthex, and then park, so that she wouldn't have to walk far on uneven ground. I didn't think to mention that the NEEDS to take the walker with her everywhere. She had no falls or bumps, but if I hadn't been holding her arm as we walked out to wait for Betsy, who brought the car around, there would have been another. She started to stumble forward walking down the ramp - even with one hand on the railing and me holding her other arm. I think the "it's ok to go alone" needs to be conditioned on absolute use of the walker at all times. She truly is really good with the walker - and after seeing her with it in church twice I thought she had cleared that hurdle of wanting to do without-so this is a bit of a setback.
I have some information on the Life-alert monitoring systems, BTW (actually a comparison chart of several such systems) - maybe I should bring it tomorrow? I think even in Assisted Living it might be a good idea for her to have something like that. Some day she will fall when there isn't a roomate (or spouse) to report it.
hmmmm - she definitely was being a little over-ambitious Sunday. Betsy Fry gave her a ride to church Sunday morning and I couldn't see her from where I sit in the choir. When I caught up to her afterwards (she was with Betsy at one of the tables in our Alternative Christmas Market, which was a great place to talk to all kinds of people) I didn't see her walker. When I asked her about it, she said that she had left it in Betsy's car!! I had reinforced with Betsy that she would need some help getting up out of the car and asked her please just to drop her off at the ramp into the narthex, and then park, so that she wouldn't have to walk far on uneven ground. I didn't think to mention that the NEEDS to take the walker with her everywhere. She had no falls or bumps, but if I hadn't been holding her arm as we walked out to wait for Betsy, who brought the car around, there would have been another. She started to stumble forward walking down the ramp - even with one hand on the railing and me holding her other arm. I think the "it's ok to go alone" needs to be conditioned on absolute use of the walker at all times. She truly is really good with the walker - and after seeing her with it in church twice I thought she had cleared that hurdle of wanting to do without-so this is a bit of a setback.
I have some information on the Life-alert monitoring systems, BTW (actually a comparison chart of several such systems) - maybe I should bring it tomorrow? I think even in Assisted Living it might be a good idea for her to have something like that. Some day she will fall when there isn't a roomate (or spouse) to report it.
Sunday, December 19, 2010
Another Fall
Just received from Liz:
Mom's nurse called me this evening to say that Mom had fallen in her room. She is fine - no effects from the fall. Robert (the nurse) had called me once before to report that she had a skin tear on her elbow. He said they have to call us to report any bump or bruise or what-have-you. I forgot to ask him tonight if Mom could tell him how the fall happened. All he told me was that her roommate came to get him, and he found Mom sitting on the floor between the legs of her walker. He checked her over for neurological signs and took her vital signs, since she said she had bumped her head. Everything checked out OK. He also said that she'd been given the therapists' OK to go anywhere within Willowbrook unescorted, as she was doing so well (we knew this), and he hoped this didn't effect that.
I will call LeeAnn at Lima tomorrow to find out some info about the move to Asst Living, but this new fall is unsettling to me. The social worker may yet be back in touch with a change in recommendation for the time-being.
Saturday, December 18, 2010
More from Dor
From an email Dor sent to Aunt Betty:
Mom has done much better this last week and I think it is more than physical; she has had more chances to engage with old friends both by phone and in person, and, as you said, though she takes a little time to "warm up" she is much less vague and much better able to think things through and carry her end of the conversation than she was a couple of weeks ago. I suspect that she was somewhat depressed - and a little traumatized, by how severe things seemed and this unexpected move to medical rather than home to Lima -- which just snowballed when Dad followed suit! She came to church last Sunday (thanks to Julie, who picked her up & brought her there) and tired pretty quickly - didn't stay after for fellowship hour - but has commented several times since on how good that felt. Caught up with some of her book club buddies and others who have been asking about her, used her walker "in public" for the first time and got much positive feedback on that. She came again yesterday - this time a memorial service - and did stay for the lunch reception after where she was able to see and talk with many old choir friends (it's always kind of an alumni choir when there is a memorial service) and again got much positive feedback on looking well, using walker:) etc. She was tired by the time I took her "home" but honestly the most chatty she has been in a while. It helped, too, that her PT therapist had told her Thursday that he thought she was close to "graduating" and would be glad to write a recommendation that she return to Lima - in Assisted Living - if that sounded good to her. She is VERY eager to have that happen. Multiple real steps forward here!!!! Real acceptance of the move to Assisted Living -- she is truly eager to be in a place she can call home - that doesn't feel so temporary - and she has come to appreciate the benefits of a handicap accessible bathroom, someone delivering her meds regularly, 3 meals rather than one, and some assistance bathing -- all things that she would not have in the apartment but will have in Assisted Living. And it has to have been a huge relief to have Dad's medical needs attended to by professionals. The difficult part of this process will be figuring out how to keep Dad and Mom close to one another. I am so worried that he will just wilt if she is not nearby - and it seems that though there is likely to be an Assisted Living space available very soon, medical beds for men are at a real premium at Lima. Dad definitely does not at this point qualify for Assisted Living. We will meet with the staff at Granite Farms next Wednesday to talk about their plan, and will hopefully know a little more then.
Meanwhile - a good week, with Christmas Eve & Christmas on the horizon, and both of them "getting out" for a bit! [I just spoke with M&D -- they were on the way to the Town House for lunch with Liz & Gary. This is Dad's first outing since going in the hospital. - rick]
Mom has done much better this last week and I think it is more than physical; she has had more chances to engage with old friends both by phone and in person, and, as you said, though she takes a little time to "warm up" she is much less vague and much better able to think things through and carry her end of the conversation than she was a couple of weeks ago. I suspect that she was somewhat depressed - and a little traumatized, by how severe things seemed and this unexpected move to medical rather than home to Lima -- which just snowballed when Dad followed suit! She came to church last Sunday (thanks to Julie, who picked her up & brought her there) and tired pretty quickly - didn't stay after for fellowship hour - but has commented several times since on how good that felt. Caught up with some of her book club buddies and others who have been asking about her, used her walker "in public" for the first time and got much positive feedback on that. She came again yesterday - this time a memorial service - and did stay for the lunch reception after where she was able to see and talk with many old choir friends (it's always kind of an alumni choir when there is a memorial service) and again got much positive feedback on looking well, using walker:) etc. She was tired by the time I took her "home" but honestly the most chatty she has been in a while. It helped, too, that her PT therapist had told her Thursday that he thought she was close to "graduating" and would be glad to write a recommendation that she return to Lima - in Assisted Living - if that sounded good to her. She is VERY eager to have that happen. Multiple real steps forward here!!!! Real acceptance of the move to Assisted Living -- she is truly eager to be in a place she can call home - that doesn't feel so temporary - and she has come to appreciate the benefits of a handicap accessible bathroom, someone delivering her meds regularly, 3 meals rather than one, and some assistance bathing -- all things that she would not have in the apartment but will have in Assisted Living. And it has to have been a huge relief to have Dad's medical needs attended to by professionals. The difficult part of this process will be figuring out how to keep Dad and Mom close to one another. I am so worried that he will just wilt if she is not nearby - and it seems that though there is likely to be an Assisted Living space available very soon, medical beds for men are at a real premium at Lima. Dad definitely does not at this point qualify for Assisted Living. We will meet with the staff at Granite Farms next Wednesday to talk about their plan, and will hopefully know a little more then.
Meanwhile - a good week, with Christmas Eve & Christmas on the horizon, and both of them "getting out" for a bit! [I just spoke with M&D -- they were on the way to the Town House for lunch with Liz & Gary. This is Dad's first outing since going in the hospital. - rick]
Friday, December 17, 2010
Dad (not?) walking and more
Emails from Liz & Dor:
[Liz] Dad had an appt with a urologist today to see if he could have the catheter removed yet. Answer was "no", basically because he is not strong enough to get himself to the bathroom when needed. After 3 more weeks of physical therapy for strengthening, he will have a return visit to the urologist. He does not yet do any walking except during physical therapy sessions (or getting himself to the wheelchair)
[Dorrie] Wednesday night he was! wheelchair was parked near the door when I got there, Dad was alert in the chair watching TV, walker at his side, and got up (very slowly, leaning on counter for support, but definitely unassisted) and walked to the door with me. We stood there for quite a few minutes because my phone rang & it was Julie, & I put her on to say "hello to granddad" and they chatted for quite a few minutes -- he holding the phone in one hand & leaning on the walker with the other. He had quite bit of fun with the phone that "didn't need to be plugged in to anything - "isn't that something? how does that thing work?" I was standing there worried that he was standing too long but he seemed ok. We retreated back to his bedside after, since it had been a few minutes, and he was definitely tiring. I asked if he had been taking some regular walks and he said "yes, some" but Liz talked to the nurses today and it seems the walks are while he is in PT. He has not walked to dinner on his own or anywhere unattended. He is for sure stronger than he was a week ago, but I would in fact worry about him walking (even with the walker) unattended.
unrelated - but since we are on email together - their dear friend Ruth Crissey died yesterday morning. I talked to Mom Wednesday night; told her this seemed imminent; she learned the fact here today. Dad still doesn't know; Liz will tell him tomorrow if Mom hasn't already. Memorial service not til January and I will make sure they can get to it.
[Liz] Dad had an appt with a urologist today to see if he could have the catheter removed yet. Answer was "no", basically because he is not strong enough to get himself to the bathroom when needed. After 3 more weeks of physical therapy for strengthening, he will have a return visit to the urologist. He does not yet do any walking except during physical therapy sessions (or getting himself to the wheelchair)
[Dorrie] Wednesday night he was! wheelchair was parked near the door when I got there, Dad was alert in the chair watching TV, walker at his side, and got up (very slowly, leaning on counter for support, but definitely unassisted) and walked to the door with me. We stood there for quite a few minutes because my phone rang & it was Julie, & I put her on to say "hello to granddad" and they chatted for quite a few minutes -- he holding the phone in one hand & leaning on the walker with the other. He had quite bit of fun with the phone that "didn't need to be plugged in to anything - "isn't that something? how does that thing work?" I was standing there worried that he was standing too long but he seemed ok. We retreated back to his bedside after, since it had been a few minutes, and he was definitely tiring. I asked if he had been taking some regular walks and he said "yes, some" but Liz talked to the nurses today and it seems the walks are while he is in PT. He has not walked to dinner on his own or anywhere unattended. He is for sure stronger than he was a week ago, but I would in fact worry about him walking (even with the walker) unattended.
unrelated - but since we are on email together - their dear friend Ruth Crissey died yesterday morning. I talked to Mom Wednesday night; told her this seemed imminent; she learned the fact here today. Dad still doesn't know; Liz will tell him tomorrow if Mom hasn't already. Memorial service not til January and I will make sure they can get to it.
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
Moving in the Right Direction
A few bits of info:
Just spoke with Dorrie who is visiting M&D right now. Sounds like both of them are improving. In particular, she mentioned that Dad is now using a walker instead of the wheelchair.
Talked with Mom earlier today. She was very happy that Josh had dinner with them yesterday.
Mom did get to church as planned on Sunday (thanks, Julie). I think she was very glad to get out and see people again. She plans to be back there for a memorial service this coming Friday.
Next Wednesday is an evaluation meeting. All of the folks involved in M&D's care will be there together with Mom, Dad, and as many of us kids as can make it (some by phone). I'm hoping that we will come out of there with a plan for what happens next. Am guessing Mom will not go anywhere until then, though she would like to.
Oh, and I think we have the most critical parts of Dad's finances figured out. I believe my initial concerns were unfounded.
Just spoke with Dorrie who is visiting M&D right now. Sounds like both of them are improving. In particular, she mentioned that Dad is now using a walker instead of the wheelchair.
Talked with Mom earlier today. She was very happy that Josh had dinner with them yesterday.
Mom did get to church as planned on Sunday (thanks, Julie). I think she was very glad to get out and see people again. She plans to be back there for a memorial service this coming Friday.
Next Wednesday is an evaluation meeting. All of the folks involved in M&D's care will be there together with Mom, Dad, and as many of us kids as can make it (some by phone). I'm hoping that we will come out of there with a plan for what happens next. Am guessing Mom will not go anywhere until then, though she would like to.
Oh, and I think we have the most critical parts of Dad's finances figured out. I believe my initial concerns were unfounded.
Saturday, December 11, 2010
12/10 Visit
Went down yesterday to visit and to deal with bank paperwork so that we can access Dad's accounts to pay the bills (and to understand the whole financial situation).
Stopped at Lima, picked up the mail, and spent a while at the apartment finding things (Liz, thanks for the pointer to the papers in the dresser drawer). Among other things, I found a reassuring statement for Mom's investments.
Got over to see M&D just before dinner. I first stopped in Mom's room and the speech therapist (Christine?) was just finishing up with her. Didn't realize Mom needed speech therapy. As the therapist told me a little later, she does cognitive stuff related to communication. She was quizzing Mom about how to deal with what to do if she is running late for an appointment. I thought Mom did very well with the questions -- at least as well as I would have:) (M&D both later expressed that they didn't like the speech therapy - "too many questions".)
As Mom was getting ready, I went to Dad's room. He was standing looking confused and very glad to see me. ("Seeing you is that best thing that ever happened to me! ... Well, maybe not the best") He was trying to figure out how to get in touch with Mom because he knew it was time to go to dinner. I assured him that Mom will always come and get him at meal time. This points out a few things:
As we were walking back to the room, we got talking about the computer. Mom would like to do email again. Someone had taken her up to the library where she found a computer; however, she couldn't figure it out. I think it is set up a little differently from the one at Lima. She probably just needs someone to help her get started. She also didn't think she could find her way to the library again. Anyway, I think those problems may be ironed out soon and I expect we will see her emailing again before too long.
Back at the room we watched the news for an hour. Then Mom decided it was time for her to go. Dad and I hung out, listened to music, and talked about the pictures in the digital picture frame (I brought it over from the apartment). Although Dad has various mental issues, he is great company and can carry on a conversation.
We also called Aunt Kathy. I had been hoping to get to see her, too, but it was too late. Anyway, I had a nice talk with her and Dad talked to her some. It would be good to get them all together.
During this time, Dad polished off half a package of graham crackers that I had brought over at Dorrie's recommendation -- good call, Dor. If you are visiting, make sure that there is an open package he can reach, because he will not be able to open a new one himself (I can barely do it).
Regarding Dad's other health issues: I did not hear any mention of the bed sores (and I forgot to ask), so I think that is going better. It did sound like he still has some bowel issues. He gave a rather hilarious explanation about it that made no sense to me. A new(?) issue is his left eye. It was very red and looked a little infected. Meant to ask the nurse, but I forgot.
I won't be getting down again for a while, but Liz and Dor have been great about visiting. Also, I understand that there is a plan for Julie to take Mom to church Sunday. It will be good for them to see Julie, and I think that will be Mom's first time out in public in weeks. Josh and Rebek are also likely to stop by this week, which M&D will very much enjoy.
Stopped at Lima, picked up the mail, and spent a while at the apartment finding things (Liz, thanks for the pointer to the papers in the dresser drawer). Among other things, I found a reassuring statement for Mom's investments.
Got over to see M&D just before dinner. I first stopped in Mom's room and the speech therapist (Christine?) was just finishing up with her. Didn't realize Mom needed speech therapy. As the therapist told me a little later, she does cognitive stuff related to communication. She was quizzing Mom about how to deal with what to do if she is running late for an appointment. I thought Mom did very well with the questions -- at least as well as I would have:) (M&D both later expressed that they didn't like the speech therapy - "too many questions".)
As Mom was getting ready, I went to Dad's room. He was standing looking confused and very glad to see me. ("Seeing you is that best thing that ever happened to me! ... Well, maybe not the best") He was trying to figure out how to get in touch with Mom because he knew it was time to go to dinner. I assured him that Mom will always come and get him at meal time. This points out a few things:
- Standing does not seem to be a problem. He can get himself up OK, and when he is standing, he doesn't feel like he immediately needs to sit. However, he doesn't walk except a few steps to get into the wheelchair. I hope the PT gets him walking again.
- Looking back on it, I realize that he knew it was dinner time, so even though his sense of time is wacky he is good with clocks. Although the more I think about it, the more I'm not sure there is even a clock in the room and the watch he wears is broken (that's another story). Hmm.
- Although Liz went to great pains to write instructions on how to use the cell phone, he didn't know how to use it to call Mom. In fact, he may not have even thought about using it. It and the instructions are sort of behind him and hard to see. But I am pretty sure that he couldn't have done it even if he had picked it up. Dealing with even very simple instructions to work electronics is too hard. He can do some things with the simple TV remote, probably only because he is so used to it. When Dorrie called later, I had to tell him how to answer it. I hope that is something he can learn. I also brought our CD player (Mom has the one from the apartment) and some CDs that I thought he would like from the apartment. I put on the compilation of 'Fred's Faves' that Elizabeth made him and he really seemed to like that. I have doubts about whether he will be able to make the CD player play when he wants, though I told him all he needs to do is push the play button.
As we were walking back to the room, we got talking about the computer. Mom would like to do email again. Someone had taken her up to the library where she found a computer; however, she couldn't figure it out. I think it is set up a little differently from the one at Lima. She probably just needs someone to help her get started. She also didn't think she could find her way to the library again. Anyway, I think those problems may be ironed out soon and I expect we will see her emailing again before too long.
Back at the room we watched the news for an hour. Then Mom decided it was time for her to go. Dad and I hung out, listened to music, and talked about the pictures in the digital picture frame (I brought it over from the apartment). Although Dad has various mental issues, he is great company and can carry on a conversation.
We also called Aunt Kathy. I had been hoping to get to see her, too, but it was too late. Anyway, I had a nice talk with her and Dad talked to her some. It would be good to get them all together.
During this time, Dad polished off half a package of graham crackers that I had brought over at Dorrie's recommendation -- good call, Dor. If you are visiting, make sure that there is an open package he can reach, because he will not be able to open a new one himself (I can barely do it).
Regarding Dad's other health issues: I did not hear any mention of the bed sores (and I forgot to ask), so I think that is going better. It did sound like he still has some bowel issues. He gave a rather hilarious explanation about it that made no sense to me. A new(?) issue is his left eye. It was very red and looked a little infected. Meant to ask the nurse, but I forgot.
I won't be getting down again for a while, but Liz and Dor have been great about visiting. Also, I understand that there is a plan for Julie to take Mom to church Sunday. It will be good for them to see Julie, and I think that will be Mom's first time out in public in weeks. Josh and Rebek are also likely to stop by this week, which M&D will very much enjoy.
Friday, December 10, 2010
Update 12/10
Spoke with Liz yesterday and Dor this morn. Sounds like Mom and Dad are doing pretty well. They got Dad dressed and up for physical therapy. He ate in the dining room instead of in his bed. Mom ate dinner with him and then they watched the news afterwards -- part of their routine for a long time. Good stuff. Maybe Liz will update with more details.
I'm going down today partly to visit, but also to pick up some papers from the apartment and go to the bank to try to get things set up so that we can pay their bills (MB has volunteered).
I'm going down today partly to visit, but also to pick up some papers from the apartment and go to the bank to try to get things set up so that we can pay their bills (MB has volunteered).
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
Spirits
Mom seems pretty much herself. She has made friends at Granite Farms and seems OK with it, though she really would like to go back to the apartment.
Dad is more up and down. Perhaps this is partly because his sugar has fluctuated so much (the doctor said it has been between 30 and 400!). Marybeth and I had a great visit with him when he was in the hospital. He was in fine spirits and making jokes. He ate his whole meal including a hamburger. I'd not seen that in a long time. He ate without his lower dentures. Said his doctor had recommended it that morn. Who knows. The next day, he was back to using his dentures. I had hoped that maybe finally he was starting to eat well, but it may have been an anomaly. He really needs to eat (and drink) because he has lost a lot of weight. The doctor now has him on pureed food, but I don't know that it is helping. The next day (yesterday) he was not in as good spirits. He also missed Mom a lot. I hope that having her nearby now helps, though we really need her to spend more time with him. All of us are trying to spend time with them -- especially to encourage him.
Dad's memory is pretty bad and his sense of time is really wacky. For example, last week he told me that the TV in the apartment had not been working for a long time. Liz later told me it was working the day before and the reason it wasn't working was that he was trying to operate it with the DVD controller (a mistake I could easily make:).
Dad is more up and down. Perhaps this is partly because his sugar has fluctuated so much (the doctor said it has been between 30 and 400!). Marybeth and I had a great visit with him when he was in the hospital. He was in fine spirits and making jokes. He ate his whole meal including a hamburger. I'd not seen that in a long time. He ate without his lower dentures. Said his doctor had recommended it that morn. Who knows. The next day, he was back to using his dentures. I had hoped that maybe finally he was starting to eat well, but it may have been an anomaly. He really needs to eat (and drink) because he has lost a lot of weight. The doctor now has him on pureed food, but I don't know that it is helping. The next day (yesterday) he was not in as good spirits. He also missed Mom a lot. I hope that having her nearby now helps, though we really need her to spend more time with him. All of us are trying to spend time with them -- especially to encourage him.
Dad's memory is pretty bad and his sense of time is really wacky. For example, last week he told me that the TV in the apartment had not been working for a long time. Liz later told me it was working the day before and the reason it wasn't working was that he was trying to operate it with the DVD controller (a mistake I could easily make:).
Getting Things Under Control
It has been a crazy week for all of us and especially for Liz. Liz has been the point person for all the issues related to Mom and Dad. She had been taking care of getting them to doctor appointments, etc. for some time, and the level of activity really accelerated recently. It is wearing on her as she has been over there many days and is constantly on the phone with nurses, doctors, etc. The rest of us are pitching in as we can. I think Dorrie is getting over to visit a lot after work and has helped in many other ways. David got them a new phone and is getting their phone plan straighted out.
MB and I are trying to take care of Dad's finances. We were down there for a couple of days visiting and spent a lot of time going through their papers. Mom still has her own accounts and she seems fairly on top of them. Dad's, however, are less clear and Dad doesn't remember much. There are a number of unpaid bills and it's not clear where all the assets are. Really wish we had done this sooner; however, I don't think he was willing to allow it until fairly recently.
Yesterday, Dor, Liz, Dave and I met with the Lima folks to talk about what happens next. Lima has three levels of residence: independent apartment, assisted living (a couple of nurses to administer meds, help bathing, and keep an eye on them), and skilled care. For the moment they are both in skilled care at Granite Farms. They would like to go back to their apartment at Lima. Mom's doctor said that she should go to assisted living permanently (I don't think she knows this yet). I think she might be able to go within a few days as she is doing pretty well. Dad has a lot further to go. I worry a little that he may never get out of the skilled care unit. Please pray for them and especially for him.
The whole issue of their living arrangement is a question that won't be completely resolved for some time. We think it would be good for them to end up in the same assisted living unit (they would have separate rooms, but be near each other). How this pans out depends on them qualifying health-wise to live there as well as Lima having rooms open. If Lima does not have rooms available, they could end up in a sister facility at least temporarily. Hard to say at this point.
Oh, and Mom's doctor said that she should not drive any more (yes!) but I don't think he told her himself (a nurse told her). I think she still needs to hear it from him. Anyway, there is enough going on at the moment so we are avoiding that subject. She is nowhere near the car and Liz or Dor has the keys.
MB and I are trying to take care of Dad's finances. We were down there for a couple of days visiting and spent a lot of time going through their papers. Mom still has her own accounts and she seems fairly on top of them. Dad's, however, are less clear and Dad doesn't remember much. There are a number of unpaid bills and it's not clear where all the assets are. Really wish we had done this sooner; however, I don't think he was willing to allow it until fairly recently.
Yesterday, Dor, Liz, Dave and I met with the Lima folks to talk about what happens next. Lima has three levels of residence: independent apartment, assisted living (a couple of nurses to administer meds, help bathing, and keep an eye on them), and skilled care. For the moment they are both in skilled care at Granite Farms. They would like to go back to their apartment at Lima. Mom's doctor said that she should go to assisted living permanently (I don't think she knows this yet). I think she might be able to go within a few days as she is doing pretty well. Dad has a lot further to go. I worry a little that he may never get out of the skilled care unit. Please pray for them and especially for him.
The whole issue of their living arrangement is a question that won't be completely resolved for some time. We think it would be good for them to end up in the same assisted living unit (they would have separate rooms, but be near each other). How this pans out depends on them qualifying health-wise to live there as well as Lima having rooms open. If Lima does not have rooms available, they could end up in a sister facility at least temporarily. Hard to say at this point.
Oh, and Mom's doctor said that she should not drive any more (yes!) but I don't think he told her himself (a nurse told her). I think she still needs to hear it from him. Anyway, there is enough going on at the moment so we are avoiding that subject. She is nowhere near the car and Liz or Dor has the keys.
Background
Just to capture a few events:
- Mom fell in the parking lot of Giant grocery store the Saturday after Thanksgiving (11/27). She hit her head and it was pretty bloody. Someone saw her and followed her back to Lima (she drove...). They helped her there and took her to the hospital for stitches.
- She fell again two days later (Monday) in the parking lot at the recycling center. This time she did not drive home. If I remember right, she was taken to the hospital and admitted. Doctor was concerned since she had had 3 falls within a week (there had been an earlier one in the mail room). Spent 3 or 4 days at the hospital as they ran tests. Liz has the results of the tests. She always falls backwards; I think there is some brain related reason for this -- not just an issue of balance.
- Mom was then sent to the Granite Farms medical unit for rehab. (Granite Farms is a sister community of Lima. They didn't immediately have space in the rehab unit at Lima and Granite farms is only a few minutes away.) They have her using a walker all the time. She seems to be accepting the need for the walker.
- Meanwhile, Dad was left at Lima without Mom, whom he really depends on. Saturday (12/4), the person bringing him his meals saw that he didn't look good and couldn't get out of bed. They found that his sugar was too low and they sent him to the hospital. They found that Dad also had bed sores. I believe the reasons for this are: poor diet, not taking shower (urine on the skin), and spending too much time sitting.
- In the hospital, they also found that Dad's bladder was extremely full (presumably enlarged prostate caused it?), so he has had a catheter since then. He has to have it for a week to let his bladder rest. After that, I guess they will check his prostate. They also said his PSA is high.
- Dad was released from the hospital yesterday and taken to Granite Farms -- the same unit where Mom is. So..., now they are back together again, sort of. Their rooms are at opposite ends of the hall. Dad seemed pretty confined to his bed, but I hope that changes soon. Mom is pretty mobile and can get down to see him, but she visits for a few minutes and leaves.
Intro
There have been a lot of phone calls about Mom and Dad and I thought it might be good to post updates to what is going on in a place where we all can see them. Might save a lot of repeating things on the phone, especially for Liz who is most involved. Also, we can share this with other family.
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